Friday, September 28, 2007

Perception


One of the most important relationship lessons I learned was this: The relationships we have with other people are projections of the relationships we have within ourselves. Our external relationships and our internal relationships are in fact the same relationships. They only seem different because we look at them through different lenses.
Let’s consider why this is true. Where do all your relationships exist? They exist in your thoughts. Your relationship with another person is whatever you imagine it to be. Whether you love someone or hate someone, you’re right. Now the other person may have a completely different relationship to you, but understand that your representation of what someone else thinks of you is also part of your thoughts. So your relationship with someone includes what you think of that person and what you believe s/he thinks of you. You can complicate it further by imagining what the other person thinks you think of him/her, but ultimately those internal representations are all you have.
Even if your relationships exist in some objective reality independent of your thoughts, you never have access to the objective viewpoint. You’re always viewing your relationships through the lens of your own consciousness. The closest you can get to being objective is to imagine being objective, but that is in no way the same thing as true objectivity. That’s because the act of observation requires a conscious observer, which is subjective by its very nature.
At first it might seem troublesome that you can never hope to gain a truly accurate, 100% objective understanding of your relationships. You can never escape the subjective lens of your own consciousness. . That doesn’t stop people from trying, but such attempts are in vain. If you fall into the trap of trying to think of your relationships as objective entities that are external to you, you’ll be using an inescapably inaccurate model of reality. Consequently, the likely outcome is that you’ll frustrate yourself to no end when it comes to human relationships. You’ll make relating to other people a lot harder than it needs to be. Intuitively you may know something is off in your approach to relationships, but you’ll remain stuck until you realize that every relationship you have with another person is really a relationship that exists entirely within yourself.
Fortunately, once you embrace the subjective nature of relationships, you’ll have a much easier time relating to people. It’s easier to get where you want to go when you have an accurate map. The subjective view of relationships implies that you can change or improve your relationships with others by working on the internal relationships within yourself. Furthermore, you can improve your internal relationships, such as your self-esteem, by working on your relationships with others. Ultimately it’s all the same thing.
It can be hard to admit that your complaints about others are really complaints about yourself, but the upside is that your relationship issues reveal where you still need to grow. Consequently, a fantastic way to accelerate your personal growth is to build relationships with others. The more you interact with others, the more you learn about yourself.
I believe the true value of human relationships is that they serve as pointers to unconditional love. According to the subjective model, when you forgive, accept, and love all parts of yourself, you will forgive, accept, and love all other human beings as they are. The more you improve your internal relationships between your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions, the more loving and harmonious your human relationships will become. Hold unconditional love in your consciousness, and you’ll see it reflected in your reality.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

One day i will!!

As a human being, i have always given importance to my each and every relationship, i love each one who is present in my life, apart from this attitude of mine i have lost one of my very good friend.

My friend is a very intelligent and a genuine person he has always provided me good suggestions whenever i was in need of it also he is been very patient throughout, he listened to my stupid talks and answer all my questions..he is sweet friend but then some misunderstanding happened and he suddenly stopped talking to me.

even after knowing very clearly that he doesn't want to talk to me i continued talking to him because i wanted to talk and maintain the relationship, in friendship it usually happens that friends get upset from each other but thats then thats on the individuals that whether they want to continue the friendship or not...in my case i want to...knowing very well that he is angry with me for the reason which i don't know, i will continue trying and one day will get friend back:)))

Optimism is necessary in friendship, so i am going to be positive in this case.

have you ever faced any situation like so??

Friday, July 13, 2007

Dilemma


Now a days i am not able to understand myself, i don't know exactly what i want its an ambiguous situation and i am not able to take any decision of mine. life is looking like a hell. everyday i woke and take a resolution to be happy, but then i fail.

I always used to believe that there are two paths which life give us the one which is easy but not correct and the another which is correct but not easy...but then i realised that life is more than that and its easy to choose between the right and wrong but its very difficult to choose between two right paths and in our day to day life we are encountered with such situations only..right now m facing the same and m unable to take any decision of mine

generally i used to follow my heart in such situations so i think i should go by that
well thats about me.. what u guys do in such kind of situations??

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Essence of LOVE




Its always good to be a part of any discussion, i got this opportunity almost daily...the most criticised and most loved topic of our group is LOVE...there always a spectrum of opinions formed whenever any issue is raised but for this topic i got some very weired and unexpected opinions. Some of my friends said that they might kill their lovers if they ditch them, others said they can do any thing to seek attention and some reactions i can't even mention, otherwise one may loose their faith in love.

Individuals are unique and have different opinions on different issues and i respect those too. in my opinion as one of my friends asked, love is..hmmm...well i think love has many shades it differ from person to person. loving is the foremost charactersictic of being a human being. Honestly speaking for me, love is to see someone happy and succesful in his life. it doesn;t ask for any terms and conditions,it has the power to a mould a person, one can do anything for someone special of ours, without putting any condition even its ironical but true

We oftenly use the term TRUE LOVE, in my opinion love doesn't need the adjective of "true" , It is always true, and if its not then its not love.


Through this post i want to put forward the real essence of love (according to me, it may not be generalised) and want to know that how many of you feel the same....

Friday, June 1, 2007

Why do People Fight??

A fight between two people is oftenly seen in our day to day life. Not differentiating myself from the mainstream society, i also get indulge into fights many a times.

There can be many reason for the person getting into a fight, the reason which i derived was little different (thats what i think). Fights can be of two types one is external, in which one fights with the other person and the other one is internal, wherein one fights with ones own innerself. Also the latter can be taken as the cause for the former in many cases.

An internal fight is between the expectations of others and our own desires. And as a part of reality we rarely fulfil our desires and work hard to come upto the expectations of others. This creats some kind of disonance in our mind and prepares the platform for frustations and this frustration works as the major ingredient for any fight. It ignites ones temperament and forces him or her to get involved in fight which is external in nature.

In my opinion, we need to bridge the gap between our desires and others expectations in a proper manner in order to reduce the instances of Fights. now this is what i think..can u suggest some other measures of reducing the number of fights??



Saturday, May 12, 2007

Communication

Communication is a very important aspect of our life, it can be defined as the transfer of information from one source to another. When a child is born he is not capable to speak out, but from his body language, he communicate his need and attains satisfaction.

I give very much importance to communication, both at professional and personal level. Social work, a profession where communication plays a very vital role in the fulfillment of the objectives of various programs initiated by respective agencies. We being professional social workers are supposed to work with people of urban and rural slums, disabled persons, corporate etc and are asked to build brilliant rapport with the members of the respected areas. We go into communities and talk to people and believe that within a very short span of time we will develop a kind of trust with them wherein people will start sharing their problems with us. Initially I didn’t believed it but with the passage of time when I myself started working, then realized that, it is possible! Actually it was been made possible because of the frequent interaction with the people. well after two years i can say that i have developed an intense relationship with most of the members of the community.

As a social worker i have also worked in corporate, there the pattern of communication was more of formal kind but yet i was able to develop good interpersonal relationship with some of the senior officers of the company. This helped me a lot in understanding various aspect of the working of the organization. Also through communication i will say, i was able to take out some hidden information of the organisation.

At personal level...well i have observed that as we grow older we stop expressing our feelings infront of others. there are lot of reasons attached to it. By that time we learnt to control our desires and start prioritising it. I have often heard people saying that certain things need to be expressed and it should be understood by the other person if he or she knows me., i always don't agree on this as i believe that even for understanding someone, we need to express ourselves infront of that person. For any relationship, communication and expression of desires and needs are very important. it is an essential ingredient for the sustainability of long term relationship.
Well what is notion for this...???

Thursday, February 15, 2007

A Quest..

A Quest is .....

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A New Beginning

hello.....to all of the brilliant and creative people of this world:> this is a new beginning, a new phase of my life where i wanted to share my views and listen to yours...and i hope the members of this world will accept me with full heart. I have been reading the blogs of lot many people and then got an idea to start of my own

There are other reasons attached to it as i wanted to say a lot many things but was searching for the right platform, and right people too. Sometimes your views doesn't get accepted or appreciated by others just because they don't want to accept it but through this medium i can find some people who can at least think about my views with a right perspective


so looking forward to your support..thank you